


Rant (This is a Story)

by elvirakitties



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Rants, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 03:11:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties
Summary: Harry listening to Hermione..





	Rant (This is a Story)

Harry glared. He was sick of Hermione and her self-righteous attitude. He began to think of all the times she had broken the law and never got into trouble, while he got in trouble for things he didn't even do, like in his fifth year, the trial for underage magic. He was getting madder and madder as he listened to her rant at him.

He had come her to tell her the good news, instead, she was acting like one of the bigotted Muggles. He was trying to keep control over his temper, but his memories were playing in front of him. He began to count how many times Hermione had broken the law, not in any order.

Illegal potion making, in their second year. She stole the ingredients out of Snape's supplies, made a potion that was well beyond their level, outside of a classroom, and with no supervision. Yes, it was for a reason, but it was still illegal. Poly-juice was also a forbidden potion. He wondered why Madame Pomfrey never outed her for it. The woman had to know. He knew Dumbledore had to be behind that.

He remembered the next time she brewed the illegal poly-juice was when they went to the Ministry, where she broke a lot of laws, yes, so did he. However, he had accepted that he broke a lot of laws that day, and he realized how lucky they were. Hermione impersonated Mafalda Hopkirk, the woman he had received his underage magic notice, also she did the same notice if you did it in front of muggles. However, Hermione also interrupted a trial, and stole jewelry from Delores Umbridge, and helped a prisoner escape (albeit an innocent one).

He flashed to their fifth year, that poor girl, Marietta Edgecombe, granted the girl did break her word, but Hermione should have thought of another way, especially since she knew what Umbridge was like. The girl was forced to tell, it wasn't like she went running to Umbridge. Yes, he had been mad, but to spell sneak in boils across her face. It scarred the girl, permanently. Yet, again, she got off. Dumbledore.

He also realized that Hermione could have gotten him arrested with her idea to form the DA in the first place. He didn't want to do it, but she pressured him into it. The Ministry was already after him, and if Umbridge had caught them, he would have given the Kiss before Dumbledore could have done a thing. He knew Hermione wasn't on their top ten list, while he had the number one slot at the time. Dumbledore would have been able to save her, but the Ministry already sent two dementors after him. Another thought went through his mind, why was Dumbledore training children to go up against seasoned wizards?

Harry pushed his glasses up his nose. That brought back two times the girl did underage magic, first on the Hogwarts Express and in Diagon Alley to fix his glasses. Defending oneself didn't count in his book. He paused for a second, how did she know that spell before they were even at Hogwarts? It wasn't a spell in their books. He got a warning for Dobby doing a spell, he was able to get away with blowing up Aunt Marge, as that was purely accidental, and when he got rid of the Dementors, he got a trial. Dumbledore, again.

In her rant, he heard Snape, which caused him to think about when she set the man's robes on fire. She did it on purpose, with faulty information. What would have happened if they weren't witches and wizard? She could have burned an innocent me. When they learned the truth, she never apologized, never replaced the man's robes, never said a word about it, but he bet Dumbledore knew.

That lead Harry to another random thought, the time turner business. Really, who gives a child a time turner for her to take every class. Surely she couldn't have been the only student to want that, yet, poof, she was given one. He knew that McGonagall had to vouch for the fact that Hermione would never use it for any other purpose than continuing her studies. He knew that Hermione had also made a promise to McGonagall to do just that. However, again, Dumbledore's subtle hints, she broke her promise and took them back in time. Yes, he knew it was for a good reason, a great reason, as it saved Sirius. There wasn't even anyone questioning their use of it.

He flashed to another memory of when Hermione was able to wingardium leviosa a bunch of restricted books from Dumbledore’s office shortly after his demise. No one even seems to have looked for them. He wondered about that and wondered how she knew the spell would work. He wondered why no one came looking for the thief of the books, too.

He didn't want to even think about Gringotts. That was a huge mistake, even if it was for the right reasons. Yet, again, no one but the goblins did anything about it. They let a dragon loose. The plan had been Hermione's. He wondered how she came up with some policies. It seemed to Harry that if Hermione had a "reason" she was willing to break the law, but only if she agreed with the reason.

The reason thought made him think of Hermione when she confuded her own parents. That right there was a good trip to Azkaban. First using magic on Muggles, second, stealing their past by deleting their memories. Yes, she was able to find her parents, and remove the charm, but honestly, why was she allowed to do things when she wanted, how she wanted, and why she wanted, but no one else better have any ideas different than hers.

Harry ran through the assortment of smaller things Hermione has done. Hermione blasted open doors, misused a magical object, cursed a professor, stole a condemned Hippogriff, again with a time turner, and helped a convicted murderer escape from a school where he was due for a Dementor's kiss. Granted said criminal house the Order for a few years, but what they did was very illegal.

Harry heard Hermione continuing her rant about something, he selected to think more about what she, and at times with him and Ron, had done. He thought about how Hermione basically set up Umbridge to be raped. Hermione did trick Umbridge into a trip into the Forbidden Forest, where the Centaurs were. Umbridge, being herself, was rude to the Centaurs, who carried her off. Harry knew that Hermione had to know the legends and rumors about what Centaurs did. Centaurs are legendary rapists. Their main thing is carrying women off to have their way with them. Harry knew it must have happened as he remembered Ron making clip-clopping noises as if the centaurs are coming back, and Umbridge freaking out.

"What will Rita write?" Hermione's rant continued.

Harry, at the mention of Rita, remembered when Hermione basically kidnapped and unlawfully imprisoned the woman. Hermione captured Rita Skeeter in a jar and kept her there for over a year. Isn't that what a psychopath would do. He wondered why Rita didn't file charges. So what, the fine for being an unregistered Animus versus being kept in a jar for a year.

Harry let her rant on for a while, he had stopped listening ages ago. "Harry, are you listening to me?"

"No, he's not." Snape stepped into the room. "You put him and everyone else to sleep with your long-winded rant about absolutely nothing. In case, Miss Granger, you failed to realize this, this is the wizarding world, not the Muggle world, and not everyone in either world holds your views on same-sex relationships. They do not deserve to be in jail."

"Just because you corrupted Harry, doesn't mean you will be getting away with this." Hermione slammed a book down on the table. "I will make sure you will pay."

Harry sighed. "Hermione, you're an idiot." He took Snape's hand. "Let's go home."


End file.
